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Yes, I finally wrote it... now I need to send it to Marvel and Warren Ellis. I tried very hard to focus on the writing, not the art -- Ellis might have contributed to some to the layout, but he's not responsible for how badly the panels flowed -- that looked to be entirely a compositional problem.
To Mr. Warren Ellis,
I recently purchase a copy of ASTONISHING X-MEN, issue 25. I was looking forward to your interpretation, because I liked your run on EXACLIBUR several years ago, and the "Extremis" storyline in IRON MAN.
I enjoyed the Mutantes Sans Fronters as an idea, and that Ororo is involved in running the foundation. It seems like an interesting non-profit, which is where many women married to politicians find themselves, and a nice bit of detailing to round out the world you are writing. I also like the idea that Ororo is not actually hostile to Emma Frost, even though Emma's previous behavior has done nothing to recommend her to Ororo.
I enjoyed the byplay between Scott Summers and Hank McCoy about Scott's happiness. You are quite right that Scott tends to ruin his own happiness. I fully expect you to exploit that, or at least keep reminding the audience that Scott Summers doesn't know how to be truly happy in a relationship, and yet has never allowed himself to be alone either. I do suggest that you stop having Scott call Hank 'Henry', though. They've known each other since they were teenagers, and Hank never went by 'Henry' to his friends – having Scott use it now seems very off character.
The way you write Hisako Ichiki was very nice. She sounds a bit older than I thought she was, but she is believably young and focusing on the things that would be important to a teenager – not having a stupid codename, and not being annoyed by a housemate's bad singing. I was a bit surprised that you seemed to have stronger chemistry between her and Hank McCoy than her and Logan, given that she is supposed to be in the role of "Logan's current protégé", but it's only the first issue, and you didn't have Logan really do that much at all. Or perhaps you're going in a different direction than expected.
I enjoyed the idea of the Chaparanga Beach, as the extension of the real world Indonesian ship scrapyards to a space vessel scrapyard was a lovely bit of science fiction.
I also liked the idea of using triploidy as scientific macguffin. You wrote a pretty good explanation of what triploidy is, too.
However, I was very disappointed in how you described the X-gene and chromosomal number. Human chromosomes are only numbered 1 through 22, with the 23rd pair being the sex chromosomes (X and Y) which are not numbered.
When you had Hank McCoy say that the X-gene was located on 'chromosome 23' I thought perhaps you were implying that mutancy is a sex-related condition, like hemophilia or color-blindness, or that mutants had an extra chromosome pair. But then you stated that the murder victim had his X-gene on 'chromosome 66', and I realized that you didn't know what you were talking about.
Even in triploid organisms, the chromosomes are not individually numbered. Chromosomes are numbered in pairs (or triplets in the case of triploids), because each individual chromosome in each pair is morphologically and functionally the same as the matching chromosome.
Please, in the future, if you're going to write science fiction details in ASTONISHING X-MEN, ask someone with a relevant science background to check them for you. This was a mistake in basic facts that any competent biologist could have pointed out to you. If you had posted it on your weblog, you would have received a number of corrections from your readers, explanations of what the actual science is, and suggestions for how to incorporate it into your story. You could have looked at the Wikipedia entry on human chromosomes, and noticed that there is no 'chromosome 23' and that they are numbered in pairs. It was not a mistake you needed to make.
I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for a lot of fun silliness (spaceships, telepathy, etc), but it needs a solid foundation to start from. Getting the basic facts wrong knocks down the base on which you are building your story on.
I would like to be able to enjoy the rest of your run on ASTONISHING X-MEN, without being thrown by incoherent science tripping up the plot.
Thank you,
[me]
Yes, I'm ragging him for his terrible gaffe with the science -- but if you're going to write SF, you should get the basic science you're building off of *right*.
To Mr. Warren Ellis,
I recently purchase a copy of ASTONISHING X-MEN, issue 25. I was looking forward to your interpretation, because I liked your run on EXACLIBUR several years ago, and the "Extremis" storyline in IRON MAN.
I enjoyed the Mutantes Sans Fronters as an idea, and that Ororo is involved in running the foundation. It seems like an interesting non-profit, which is where many women married to politicians find themselves, and a nice bit of detailing to round out the world you are writing. I also like the idea that Ororo is not actually hostile to Emma Frost, even though Emma's previous behavior has done nothing to recommend her to Ororo.
I enjoyed the byplay between Scott Summers and Hank McCoy about Scott's happiness. You are quite right that Scott tends to ruin his own happiness. I fully expect you to exploit that, or at least keep reminding the audience that Scott Summers doesn't know how to be truly happy in a relationship, and yet has never allowed himself to be alone either. I do suggest that you stop having Scott call Hank 'Henry', though. They've known each other since they were teenagers, and Hank never went by 'Henry' to his friends – having Scott use it now seems very off character.
The way you write Hisako Ichiki was very nice. She sounds a bit older than I thought she was, but she is believably young and focusing on the things that would be important to a teenager – not having a stupid codename, and not being annoyed by a housemate's bad singing. I was a bit surprised that you seemed to have stronger chemistry between her and Hank McCoy than her and Logan, given that she is supposed to be in the role of "Logan's current protégé", but it's only the first issue, and you didn't have Logan really do that much at all. Or perhaps you're going in a different direction than expected.
I enjoyed the idea of the Chaparanga Beach, as the extension of the real world Indonesian ship scrapyards to a space vessel scrapyard was a lovely bit of science fiction.
I also liked the idea of using triploidy as scientific macguffin. You wrote a pretty good explanation of what triploidy is, too.
However, I was very disappointed in how you described the X-gene and chromosomal number. Human chromosomes are only numbered 1 through 22, with the 23rd pair being the sex chromosomes (X and Y) which are not numbered.
When you had Hank McCoy say that the X-gene was located on 'chromosome 23' I thought perhaps you were implying that mutancy is a sex-related condition, like hemophilia or color-blindness, or that mutants had an extra chromosome pair. But then you stated that the murder victim had his X-gene on 'chromosome 66', and I realized that you didn't know what you were talking about.
Even in triploid organisms, the chromosomes are not individually numbered. Chromosomes are numbered in pairs (or triplets in the case of triploids), because each individual chromosome in each pair is morphologically and functionally the same as the matching chromosome.
Please, in the future, if you're going to write science fiction details in ASTONISHING X-MEN, ask someone with a relevant science background to check them for you. This was a mistake in basic facts that any competent biologist could have pointed out to you. If you had posted it on your weblog, you would have received a number of corrections from your readers, explanations of what the actual science is, and suggestions for how to incorporate it into your story. You could have looked at the Wikipedia entry on human chromosomes, and noticed that there is no 'chromosome 23' and that they are numbered in pairs. It was not a mistake you needed to make.
I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for a lot of fun silliness (spaceships, telepathy, etc), but it needs a solid foundation to start from. Getting the basic facts wrong knocks down the base on which you are building your story on.
I would like to be able to enjoy the rest of your run on ASTONISHING X-MEN, without being thrown by incoherent science tripping up the plot.
Thank you,
[me]
Yes, I'm ragging him for his terrible gaffe with the science -- but if you're going to write SF, you should get the basic science you're building off of *right*.
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