ysobel: (Default)
([personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:45 pm)
Dear Eric: My sister-in-law made quilts for two of her nieces. They unwrapped them to oohs, aahs and applause on Christmas Eve at my house. My daughter did not receive a gift. I sent a polite email to sister-in-law explaining that my daughter was disappointed. I received a snail mail reply that included a gift certificate and a note. Sister-in-law wrote that I was a bully and stated that she would never set foot in my house again. She hasn’t for several years. What should I do?

— Stitchy Situation


Situation: Your sister-in-law’s reaction was a bit extreme, all things considered (or at least all things detailed in your letter). This suggests to me that maybe there’s something else under it for her, whether it’s other issues she has with your relationship or a sensitivity around the particular gift. Or maybe her feelings were hurt by your email, even though it was polite.

The best way to sort it all out is by asking. It’s been years and she hasn’t come back, so I’m curious what your relationship is like outside of visits. Has this escalated to grudge territory? Does she speak to you at all? If she doesn’t, you may have to make a bigger gesture in order to reset things. Telling her, “I don’t like what happened between us” and “I’m sorry for my part” could help lay a foundation for reconciliation.

Try, if you can, not to let the conversation get too caught up in what happened years ago, though. The gift card, the email, et cetera. All the details can become places where you both get stuck relitigating and rehashing. Instead, focus on the objective of the conversation — you want to re-establish contact. It will also help to have a concrete goal, as well as an emotional one. Perhaps something like extending an invitation for her to come for lunch.

If she’s not receptive to a phone call or face-to-face conversation, an email or letter will work, but a spoken conversation is vastly more effective.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith posting in [community profile] birdfeeding Jun. 23rd, 2025 02:18 pm)
Today is partly sunny and sweltering.

I fed the birds, including a refill of the thistle feeder.  I've seen a few sparrows and house finches.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I watered the telephone pole garden.

I've seen a gray catbird.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

Fireflies are coming out.  I've heard the first cicada singing.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I watered the new picnic table plants and the septic garden.

As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith Jun. 23rd, 2025 02:17 pm)
Today is partly sunny and sweltering.

I fed the birds, including a refill of the thistle feeder.  I've seen a few sparrows and house finches.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I watered the telephone pole garden.

I've seen a gray catbird.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

Fireflies are coming out.  I've heard the first cicada singing.

EDIT 6/23/25 -- I watered the new picnic table plants and the septic garden.

As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.
thelaughingmuse: (radio free monday)
([personal profile] thelaughingmuse posting in [community profile] radiofreemonday Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:45 pm)

Welcome to Radio Free Monday for the week of June 23, 2025. RFM posts links to peoples' personal fundraisers asking for community assistance, on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, and the Fediverse.

==== Ways to give ====

Tumblr user aurosoulart is raising funds via ko-fi because he has just moved to san francisco to pursue work and is currently unhoused. Read more, share, and support the fundraiser here.

Tumblr user lookninjas is raising funds via donation and digital art purchases to repair the brakes on her car. Read more, share, and support the fundraiser here.

Tumblr user kaijuno is raising funds for urgent rent help. They recently got out of the hospital and needs help to avoid homelessness. Read more, share, and support the fundraiser here.

Dasheka, the sole caretaker of her elderly mother and her three young children, is raising funds to secure new housing for her and her family. She is in immediate need of $1,500. Cashapp $sheekwilson.

=======================

This has been Radio Free Monday. Submit items for my attention through the link in the pinned post at https://radiofreemonday.dreamwidth.org/2024/12/05/welcome-to-rfm.html (English-language submissions only, please.)

nuh_s: Photo of the Toy Soldier looking up at a blue sky. It is pale with a drawn-on mustache and red lapels on its black jacket. (Default)
([personal profile] nuh_s posting in [community profile] everykindofcraft Jun. 23rd, 2025 02:26 pm)
Back in school, I read the Holocaust memoir If This Is A Man by Primo Levi, and I printed it out. I had it as a stack of plain half sheets (not signatures) held together with binder clips. Since getting into bookbinding, I wanted to try and make that print out nicely bound, giving it the respect it deserves and making the print out much more readable. 

This was my first time doing a perfect bind (gluing the pages along the spine rather than sewing), and I think it went pretty well. I did about 4 layers of PVA glue, and it seems to be holding up well. This was also my first time adding a title to the cover. I used Black Sumi Ink and brushes to do the cover design with rubber bands around the book for the straight edges. 

For the page edges, I did an extra sanding with the fine grit that really helped with the uneven flecks/scraps that I had on the last book. 

Front cover of If This Is A Man by Primo Levi. It has a tan cover with black lines.
Read more... )Read more... )


conuly: (Default)
([personal profile] conuly Jun. 27th, 2025 02:18 pm)
Above me, the branches toss toward and away from each other
the way privacy does with what ends up
showing, despite ourselves, of
who we are, inside.

                                Then they’re branches again—hickory, I think.

            —It’s not too late, then.

******


Link
Can't wait to hear the exaggerated anger at how dare they retaliate....


Bestiaries and DM sourcebooks from Andrew Cawood at Cawood Publishing for Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition (2014) and compatible tabletop roleplaying games.

Bundle of Holding: Cawood Monsters
rivkat: Rivka as Wonder Woman (Default)
([personal profile] rivkat Jun. 23rd, 2025 01:08 pm)
Rana Mitter, Forgotten Ally: China’s World War II, 1937–1945: China fought imperial/Axis Japan, mostly alone (though far from unified), for a long time. A useful reminder that the US saw things through its own lens and that its positive and negative beliefs about Chiang Kai-Shek, in particular, were based on American perspectives distant from actual events.

Gregg Mitman, Empire of Rubber: Firestone’s Scramble for Land and Power in Liberia: Interesting story of imperialist ambition and forced labor in a place marked by previous American intervention; a little too focused on reminding the reader that the author knows that the views he’s explaining/quoting are super racist, but still informative.

Alexandra Edwards, Before Fanfiction: Recovering the Literary History of American Media Fandom: fun read )

Stefanos Geroulanos, The Invention of Prehistory: Empire, Violence, and Our Obsession with Human Origins: Wide-ranging argument that claims about prehistory are always distorted and distorting mirrors of the present, shaped by current obsessions. (Obligatory Beforeigners prompt: that show does a great job of sending up our expectations about people from the past.) This includes considering some groups more “primitive” than others, and seeing migrants as a “flood” of undifferentiated humanity. One really interesting example: Depictions of Neandertals used to show them as both brown and expressionless; then they got expressions at the same time they got whiteness, and their disappearance became warnings about white genocide from another set of African invaders.

J.C. Sharman, Empires of the Weak: The Real Story of European Expansion and the Creation of the New World: Challenges the common narratives of European military superiority in the early modern world (as opposed to by the 19th century, where there really was an advantage)—guns weren’t very good and the Europeans didn’t bring very many to their fights outside of Europe. Likewise, the supposed advantages of military drill were largely not present in the Europeans who did go outside Europe, often as privately funded ventures. Europeans dominated the seas, but Asian and African empires were powerful on land and basically didn’t care very much; Europeans often retreated or relied on allies who exploited them right back. An interesting read. More generally, argues that it’s often hard-to-impossible for leaders to figure out “what worked” in the context of state action; many states that lose wars and are otherwise dysfunctional nevertheless survive a really long time (see, e.g., the current US), while “good” choices are no guarantee of success. In Africa, many people believed in “bulletproofing” spells through the 20th century; when such spells failed, it was because (they said) of failures by the user, like inchastity, or the stronger magic of opponents. And our own beliefs about the sources of success are just as motivated.

Emily Tamkin, Bad Jews: A History of American Jewish Politics and Identities: There are a lot of ways to be an American Jew. That’s really the book.

Roland Barthes, Mythologies (tr. Annette Lavers & Richard Howard): A bunch of close readings of various French cultural objects, from wrestling to a controversy over whether a young girl really wrote a book of poetry. Now the method is commonplace, but Barthes was a major reason why.

Robert Gerwarth, November 1918: The German Revolution: Mostly we think about how the Weimar Republic ended, but this book is about how it began and why leftists/democratic Germans thought there was some hope. Also a nice reminder that thinking about Germans as “rule-followers” is not all that helpful in explaining large historical events, since they did overthrow their governments and also engaged in plenty of extralegal violence.

Mason B. Williams, City of Ambition: FDR, La Guardia, and the Making of Modern New York: Mostly about La Guardia, whose progressive commitments made him a Republican in the Tammany Hall era, and who allied with FDR to promote progressivism around the country. He led a NYC that generated a huge percentage of the country’s wealth but also had a solid middle class, and during the Great Depression used government funds to do big things (and small ones) in a way we haven’t really seen since.

Charan Ranganath, Why We Remember: Unlocking Memory's Power to Hold on to What Matters: Accessible overview of what we know about memory, including the power of place, chunking information, and music and other mnemonics. Also, testing yourself is better than just rereading information—learning through mistakes is a more durable way of learning.

Cynthia Enloe, Twelve Feminist Lessons of War: War does things specifically to women, including the added unpaid labor to keep the home fires burning, while “even patriotic men won’t fight for nothing.” Women farmers who lack formal title to land are especially vulnerable. Women are often told that their concerns need to wait to defeat the bad guys—for example, Algerian women insurgents “internalized three mutually reinforcing gendered beliefs handed down by the male leaders: first, the solidarity that was necessary to defeat the French required unbroken discipline; second, protesting any intra-movement gender unfairness only bolstered the colonial oppressors and thus was a betrayal of the liberationist cause; third, women who willingly fulfilled their feminized assigned wartime gendered roles were laying the foundation for a post-colonial nation that would be authentically Algerian.” And, surprise, things didn’t get better in the post-colonial nation. Quoting Marie-Aimée Hélie-Lucas: “Defending women’s rights ‘now’ – this now being any historical moment – is always a betrayal of the people, of the revolution, of Islam, of national identity, of cultural roots . . .”

Ned Blackhawk, The Rediscovery of America: American history retold from a Native perspective, where interactions with/fears of Indians led to many of the most consequential decisions, and Native lands were used to solve (and create) conflicts among white settlers.

Sophie Gilbert, Girl on Girl : How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves: Read more... )

Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Message: Short but not very worthwhile book about Coates navel-gazing and then traveling to Israel and seeing that Palestinians are subject to apartheid.

Thomas Hager, Electric City: The Lost History of Ford and Edison’s American Utopia: While he was being a Nazi, Ford was also trying to take over Muscle Shoals for a dam that would make electricity for another huge factory/town. This is the story of how he failed because a Senator didn’t want to privatize this public resource.

Asheesh Kapur Siddique, The Archive of Empire: Knowledge, Conquest, and the Making of the Early Modern British World: What is the role of records in imperialism? Under what circumstances do imperialists rely on records that purport to be about the colonized people, versus not needing to do so? Often their choices were based on inter-imperialist conflicts—sometimes the East India Company benefited from saying it was relying on Indian laws, and sometimes London wanted different things.

Thomas C. Schelling The Strategy of Conflict: Sometimes when you read a classic, it doesn’t offer much because its insights have been the building blocks for what came after. So too here—if you know any game theory, then very little here will be new (and there’s a lot of math) but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t vital. Also notable: we’ve come around again to deterring (or not) the Russians.

fox: a child's soap bubble floating in the air (fragile and beautiful)
([personal profile] fox Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:46 pm)

When my mother moved into assisted living last summer, we got her a landline phone with big buttons and six presets where you can put pictures to make it super easy to tell who it is you're calling. Alas, the pictures are hard for her to make out because the contrast isn't great at that size, so I turned them over and just printed everyone's initials, black on white, easiest thing. Her brother, her sister, her um-friend, and her cousin all have different initials, no problem. My brother and I have the same first initial so all our lives we've been designated on family calendars and things by our first and middle initials together.

She can't remember our middle names.

james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
([personal profile] james_davis_nicoll Jun. 23rd, 2025 10:09 am)
2002: Cherie Blair wows Britain with a notably successful real estate deal, Terry Pratchett's Night Watch wins the Best Scottish Socialist novel Prometheus Award, and an earthquake shakes England after Margaret Thatcher makes a public appearance.

Poll #33279 2002 Clarke Award Finalists
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 34


Which 2002 Clarke Award Finalists Have You Read?

View Answers

Bold As Love by Gwyneth Jones
11 (32.4%)

Fallen Dragon by Peter F. Hamilton
7 (20.6%)

Mappa Mundi by Justina Robson
7 (20.6%)

Pashazade by Jon Courtenay Grimwood
10 (29.4%)

Passage by Connie Willis
23 (67.6%)

The Secret of Life by Paul J. McAuley
5 (14.7%)



Bold for have read, italic for intend to read,, underline for never heard of it.

Which 2002 Clarke Award Finalists Have You Read?
Bold As Love by Gwyneth Jones
Fallen Dragon by Peter F. Hamilton
Mappa Mundi by Justina Robson
Pashazade by Jon Courtenay Grimwood
Passage by Connie Willis
The Secret of Life by Paul J. McAuley
selenak: (Default)
([personal profile] selenak Jun. 23rd, 2025 10:27 am)
Real Life (not mine, personally, mine is just very busy) in terms of global politics being a continued horrorshow, I find myself dealing with it in vastly different ways in terms of fandom - either reading/watching/listening to things (almost) entirely unconnected - for example, this YouTube channel by a guy named Elliot Roberts whose reviews of all things Beatles as well as of musical biopics of other folk I can hearitly recommend for their enthusiasm (or scorn, cough, Bohemian Raphsody, cough), wit and charm - , or consuming media that is very much connected to Current Events. For example: about two weeks ago there was a fascinating event here in Munich where an Israeli author, Yishai Sarid, who is currently teaching Hebrew Literature at Munich University was introduced via both readings from several of his novels, many, though not all of which are translated into German, and via conversations. While the excerpts of already published novels (and the conversations around them) certainly were captivating, and led me to reading one of them, Limassol, which is a well written Le Carréan thriller in the Israel of 2009 (when it was published) context), the novel he talked about which I was most curious about hasn't been translated into German yet, though it has been translated into English: The Third Temple.

This was was originally published in 2015 and evidently has been translated into English in 2024, with an afterword by Yishai Saraid in which he basically says "people thought I was kidding or writing sci fi in 2015. I wish. I could see where this is going then, and now you can, too". If I tell you that a reviewer back in the day according to google described the novel as "if the staff of Haaretz and Margaret Atwood had a child", you may guess what it's about. I will say that if the staff of Haaretz and Margaret Atwood had a child, I wouild expect it to be a female rather than a male narrator, but yeah, other than this. A spoilery review ensues. )
ysabetwordsmith: (gold star)
([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:37 am)
This performance from AGT snagged my attention, in which the contestant turns the audience into a choir.

1) Some people with Bardic gift can share theirs with other people; it's rare but I've known people who could do it.  That's likely part of this.

2) Some people have a gift for conveying abstract ideas visually, which is rare enough, but doing it intuitively like that is really rare and impressive.  Musical scores are precise but take a lot of training to read, especially sight-read without practice.  Creating a visual representation of a song in three voices (high, middle, low) with indications of pitch and duration -- which works well as demonstrated -- is epic.

Business world: "Dammit, I wish we had someone that good with visuals to do whiteboard notes for our meetings."

Music world: "We saw her first."
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
([personal profile] ysabetwordsmith Jun. 22nd, 2025 11:54 pm)
Hanging this picture of a barnyard was one of my goals for the year. \o/ It took us a lot of fuss and bother, but we got it up there eventually!

Read more... )
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
([personal profile] james_davis_nicoll Jun. 22nd, 2025 11:35 pm)
But I ended it by reuniting one fellow with his wallet and someone else with their car keys.
settiai: (Sim -- settiai (TriaElf9))
([personal profile] settiai Jun. 22nd, 2025 11:08 pm)
In tonight's game, the rest under a cut for those who don't care. )

And that's where we left off.
Thanks to a donation from [personal profile] lone_cat, there are 24 new verses of "In the Heart of the Hidden Garden." Lawrence shows Stan the Iron Courtyard.
.

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