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So, I just got a pretty weird idea about a fic I’m never going to write. Though, I present the prompt to your collective insanity to crackify it even more. 

@forcearama @albaparthenicevelut @lurkingcrow @resistancepilots @tygermama @asokatanos 

Imagine Knight Anakin Skywalker who was put on probation (something about blowing up a building, Obi-Wan, making things go boom is a legitimate strategy!). A part of his punishment is to teach a few lessons in the Créche. Anakin awaited a horribly booooring afternoon with a bunch of kiddies.

Well, it showed up that the lessons were on galactic politics and kid version about “Why the hell do we even fight a war.”

The thing is, that the only way Anakin knew anything about the legal side of politics was Obi-Wan’s unorthodox style of teaching via presenting his Padawan with completely surreal situations which he had had to analyse with laws.

Surreal situations such as seceding the Republic.

“Imagine, kids, that you really, really don’t like a thing. Like tubers for lunch.”

“Ew!”

“Tubers, yuck!”

“We hate tubers!”

“We want ice-cream.”

“But they won’t give us any.”

“Exactly. Now, your caretakers won’t do anything about it despite your protests. So, you declare that you don’t find their authority beneficial anymore, and you write it down. That means that you don’t have to listen to them anymore, and you can do whatever you want. Well, at least what is legal in your new state.”

“How do you write the paper?”

“Well, everything that you need to know is in the Planetary Membership Act.” Anakin was proud he remembered the exact law. A couple of younglings rushed to the datapads. Aw, youth! Look at their enthusiastic lil’ faces!

When he came back the next day with Ahsoka for another lesson, the younglings surprised him when they locked the door behind. And barricaded it with the furniture.

He looked around the tiny forms, all of them beaming with self-satisfactory smiles. One of them, a little Twi’lek girl beamed with pride when she stepped to him, a piece of flimsy in her hands.

“Oh, no….” Ahsoka sighed. Anakin had no idea what was going on.

“Yes, little one?”

“We have declared a new state!” the girl said, handing him the flimsy. “Welcome to Créchestan, President Skywalker!”

“What the…” He eyed the flimsy. Oh force. Oh force.

“Well… At least you know how to write legally binding documents, don’t you,” he gulped.

Obi-Wan’s going to kill me.

and listen, anakin would love to pretend this never happened and never come back to the creche ever, but the younglings voted him PRESIDENT and got hold of his private comm line and are telling him to please be on time for our first session of Creche Parliament, master skywalker, we’re going to discuss stealing master fisto’s water slide— 

anakin can’t leave them alone, what if they hurt themselves!! and they refuse to see the council without anakin there, bc they don’t know the Laws And Things well enough. obi wan is having way too much fun, and enthusiastically volunteers anakin to be the Order’s official political liaison to Crechestan, and tells him 2 behave, bc you’re a political leader now, Ahhnakin, please act like one—

And you know ALL about political leaders, don’t you Obi-Wan, Anakin thinks loudly and aggressively. HOW’S MANDALORE THIS TIME OF YEAR. 

You know what would be even more hilarious?

a) Crechestan obstinately refusing to submit to the Jedi Council (remember, they’Ve barricaded themselves in the room and the Adults would make them do the boring stuff, which would be hooorible!)

b) Crechestan decides to inform the Galactic senate about their secession. So, the burden of informing Palpatine that the third floor of the Jedi temple broke from the Republic falls on Anakin. Palpatine thinks he’s joking.

c) Jedi decide to solve this insanity by playing by the kids’ rules. So they send the Negotiator. Cue an hour long discussion between him and Ahsoka about his travel permission, until they slip a visa through the crack under the door.

d) the visa is very lovingly made with flimsy and crayons and kiddie stamp

e) all of above

OBI WAN GETS A VISA TO CRECHESTAN THIS MAKES ME RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. he carries it with him at All Times. he gets captured by dooku once and one of the battle droids pulls it out of his robes, and the resulting confusion and obi’s long-winded explanation is what helps him escape. he has to reapply for a new one, since it gets Ruined in the fight, but the Crechestan Immigration Office is only too happy to help (they knew master kenobi would make it out alive!)

can the 212th get visas too? waxer brings them the Best food and Boil helps carry the ice cream, so the younglings are p Amenable to the idea

Dooku’s Face when Obi-Wan explained that there is another secessionist movement made up entirely by a bunch of six-year-olds must have been a sight.

Of course he carries the visa all times! (Though the Crechestan’s emblem - neon yellow sun with a smiley face - doesn’t do well for his reputation of a fierce warrior)

The Clones will get visas too, but they have to pass an interview. (What is your stance on hugs? What is the best ice cream? Will you make me a plush toy?)

The council members are astonished, I say, astonished. Everything’s Kenobi’s fault. If he didn’t teach Skywalker in a such ridiculous way, none of this would happen!

(Do media get a wind about this? Of course they do… )

Anakin messages Padme about the whole situation and gets back a reply that she doesn’t feel right speaking to the elected ruler of a new country(?) without going through formal diplomatic channels first. (aka she’s laughing her ass off)
So Anakin, as President, and Original Child Character who was elected Ambassador send Padme a formal invitation for Lunch, Ice Cream and the Opening of Formal Diplomatic Relations.
It is a Momentous Occasion. Obi Wan and the Clones are invited.

:D The event of opening the diplomatic  channels between Crechestan and Naboo entered the history books as a Not Quite Sane Tea Party. They served tea (courtesy of Obi-Wan, as a goodwill of the Jedi Order), fuckton of cucumber sandwiches (the pinnacle of clones’ culinary art) and the first class naboo ice-cream. That one earned Padmé a double citizenship.

(The immigration officer is a glutton.)

The whole affair was aired on the holonet. When the bussiness companies got a wind of it, of course they showed a very deep interest in this new state’s tax policy.

(The kids have no idea what taxes are and Anakin was hitting his head on a wall in a mad attempt to wake up from this nightmare)

(Cue companies - all companies - from the Republic and the Confederacy - moving to this tax haven.)

Palpatine faces a very, very serious problem.

Anakin and Obi Wan and Padme have to explain to the Younglings what taxes are and what they are used for. Salaries for workers (and the President! to buy nice things for their Favourite Senator!) and things like infrastructure and education and healthcare and other things that help people.

The Younglings think this is brilliant! Who doesn’t want to help others!

Crechestan’s new ‘citizens’ finds they are being taxed at a much higher rate than anticipated and when they complain they are met by children asking them why they object when their tax dollars are being used for Ice Cream and Playgrounds and Comfy Book Corners.

(Anakin’s learning more about politics and fiscal policy than he ever wanted to know. Obi Wan thought it was hilarious until the Younglings voted him in as Junior Secretary of the Treasury, under a very serious young Wookie who’s good at math.)

“What fucking infrastructure IN A FUCKING KIDDIE ROOM?!” yells the President.

“SKYWALKER DON’T YOU DARE TO TEACH THE YOUNGLINGS ANY BAD WORDS!” the poor crechemaster yells from behind the door. The kids were adamant on their strict visa policy. You were allowed to enter their state only if you swore that you won’t put any sort of a bed time.

“Fine! WHAT POOPSIE INFRASTRUCTURE DO WE NEED IN A KRIF- MUFFING KIDDIE ROOM?!”

“Well,” Obi-Wan said, sitting on a tiny bright pink chair with green animal stickers plastered all over it, “you’re running out of the toilet paper.”

“And cookies,” Cody said.

“And crayons,” said Ahsoka. (Drawing enough visas for the 501st and 212th wasn’t without sacrifices)

<’Or we can use the money for actual problems. Like buying out the clones, you know,’> said Ishqaa, the Senior Secretary of the Treasury.

Everyone gets very, very silent.

“Shit.”

“SKYWALKER!”

Ishqaa is very right and very popular with the Clones and Obi Wan likes her a lot.
(Also in the interests of keeping the peace, the residents vote in measures for a Swear Jar and Mandatory Nap Time if your daily contribution to said jar is over 3 credits a day. The naps do Anakin a lot of good but everyone’s shocked when Cody and Mace have to take naps too.)

Wait - THEY LET MACE WINDU IMMIGRATE TO CRECHESTAN?

AND THEY DIDN’T STUFF HIM INTO A PRISON AFTER WHAT HE TOLD THEM ABOUT THE CLONES?

(The prison is the area at the corner, bordered by big plush cubes and giraffe.) 

(Obi-Wan spends exactly five minutes pondering why the hell do they take this madness seriously - but it takes one look at his increasingly happy padawan (who just loves to bitch about anything to his minions citizens, really) to just roll with it.)

Mandatory Nap Time  - I’m suspicious that there are moments that Obi-Wan and Cody swear like sailors on purpose just to catch a breath.
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([personal profile] marinarusalka Jun. 25th, 2017 12:54 pm)
The gulls and cormorants at the imaginatively named Bird Island in Pt. Lobos have had their chicks. \

Click on the thumbnails to see the bigger pictures.







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argh, I just realized, I'm away next week, I won't be able to watch the final until next Tuesday.

oh god this show, stop making me emotionally invested, *I have been let down too many times* to be emotionally invested in Doctor Who.

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([personal profile] rakasha Jun. 25th, 2017 06:26 pm)
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As of right now, Katie and Chris have almost enough to get out of their current situation. They are still with the same people, in the same place, but now very much are in danger. The apartment they were in became a foreclosure, and while they were supposed to leave, they were unable to. The entire family is currently being forced to squat in the apartment. Photos have been attached to the GoFundMe version of this post. I have included more under a read more here since GoFundMe only allows 3 images at a time. Apologies for the quality, the only way they are able to provide me with pictures are via an older camera phone.There is a high possibility of the complex being renovated soon based on the new ownership. When this happens, they will become completely homeless, and as stated before, the rest of the family will not allow them to follow to the next place they go. And yes, they are still stuck with those who have been abusive to them both. Until they are either kicked out by the new owner or find their own place, they will be stuck with their abusive family members.As of right now, they have been forced to use some of the money donated to make sure they could eat. They still have just over 1k of the donations ready to use on a residence and thank you all for helping them at least be able to have groceries when they could not find a way to get them any other way.It is dire that they get enough to find a place soon. With the impending renovation looming, and the constant barrage of abuse, they really need your help. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me a question through the GoFundMe site (or here on Tumblr), and I will answer the best I can, and will talk to Katie and Chris about anything I don’t know the answers to.Thank you again to all those who have donated so far. If you could continue to spread this GoFundMe, I know it would mean the world to them.

Images are below the read more.

Keep reading

I wasn’t expecting to do an update so shortly after the last, but this morning I was sent a message from Katie and Chris. Today, June 13th, everyone in the apartment was served an eviction notice that gives them 14 days to leave. They have 14 days before they will be forcibly removed from the apartment.

I have attached an image (with personal information redacted) showing the document served to them this morning.

It is now imperative that they are able to raise up to 4-5,000 goal mark to make sure they can find a place before they are rendered homeless and lose everything in the apartment.

Please, if you can help them either by donating, reblogging or both, it will mean so much to them. Anything will help right now. They need to get up to at least 4,000 on the GoFundMe to possibly find a place. Getting them to 5,000 will increase those odd exponentially and give them the cushion of being able to get a storage place if they aren’t able to find an apartment in time.

Thank you again for all the help you have provided them so far. Again, if you have any questions, please feel free to message me with them.  

Another new updated, on 6/19/17. 

Unfortunately, this update is not a happy one. Chris was jumped over the weekend, and seeing as he had nothing on him that his attackers could take, they instead shattered his phone. I have attached a picture of it. The quality isn’t very good as it was taken with an old laptop webcam. They have to use some of what has been donated to get a phone as it is the only way to contact possible landlords or for Chris to find work. The mugging happened down the street from where they are squatting, and if they can’t find a place before they are removed from their current place, then this will become almost a nightly problem. Please, if you can, spread this GoFundMe. If they end up on the streets it could very well be a death sentence.Thank you to all those who have helped them so far. I hope to have a good update for you soon.

seriously guys I really hate to stress anyone out but this is life or death at this point please boos this and donate anything at all, I’ll be sure to give any updates as they come
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Thank you for your comments, and I’m glad you enjoyed the story so much~

The same thing bothers me as well, which is entirely the reason why I had her sacrifice her powers. 

Bleach suffers from what I like to call “Toriyama syndrome” (the mangaka for Dragonball, and the most widely cited person to inspire other mangaka) where the story is only driven by the concept of “stronger stronger stronger” with really no end in sight, so you get these ridiculous battles of “hold on let me power up/show you my secret technique.”

This is a big Shonen anime trope and one that while One Piece does employ, it’s not so much on a grand scale or the entire driving force of the story. Having characters with so many different types of Devil Fruits and other powers makes each arc interesting and unique in their own way, sometimes even forcing the characters to get creative to defeat their opponents… Whereas in Bleach it’s literally “I just need to be stronger than you” for the entire manga. (And none of the villains have much of a unique quality… except for the Fullbringers power-wise, but nobody liked them anyway.)

Thus any crossover with Bleach or others like it, needs to have those characters nerfed, otherwise the story would be just one blast away from “I win at everything.”
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([personal profile] dira Jun. 25th, 2017 06:23 pm)
Not a particularly epic word count, but !!!!!

WIPs currently active: 4, because I finished Slavefic #5!!!

Words written this week: 7,711 

WIPs that got no words this week: 3 - broken dick epic, Born in the Blood, sequel to “Ring the Bell Backward", for the second week in a row. RELENTLESS FOCUS ON STUFF THAT NEEDS TO GET FINISHED. (But I am def gonna finish my RBB fic TODAY, so this coming week will involve blowing the dust off these and getting back to work and DEFINITELY NOT STARTING ANYTHING NEW YET UNLESS I REALLY REALLY WANT TO REALLY BADLY. ahem.)

WIPs that did get words this week:

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 3,267, and DONE!!! Just waiting for beta and propitious timing to post–should be all out by July 4th!!! :D

Dragon!Bucky/Tribute!Steve Cap Reverse Big Bang Story: 4,444, and FINISHING TODAY I MEAN IT! Posting date is June 30th!!!!

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Today is the last day of the half-price sale in Polychrome Heroics.  I've had a little activity, but so far it has centered on things not listed on the sale page.  

However, [personal profile] ng_moonmoth has a pool going with primary interest in "The Place Where the Journey Begins" and "We Are All Related," and secondary interest in "Uncertain Miracles."  If you plan to sponsor anything today, I recommend checking there first to avoid duplication.

All previously sponsored poems have been posted.
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([personal profile] malkingrey Jun. 25th, 2017 11:51 am)
Sort of, anyhow. For a while, maybe. There's a chance of thunderstorms tonight.

Himself is over at Stowe, busking at the Vermont RennFaire -- they pay gas money and provide lodging and a meal chit for their buskers, so whatever he gets in the hat (actually, it's a wicker basket, which experiment has shown works better) is profit. The real goal of the weekend, though, is consideration for paid stage gigs at other Faires and such put on by the same people; they like to try them out as buskers first.

It also looks like he's got a gig in July down in Greenfield MA, doing magic at a birthday party -- this one through the agent he had the successful meeting with right after Boskone. She was off for three months after that, doing something-or-other, but has returned and is back in touch. He gets his mileage paid for that one, as well as his fee (minus the agent's cut, of course), and with any luck this will lead to bigger and better gigs down the road. The real money, apparently, is in appearances at conferences and trade shows and the like.

(Himself's plans almost always work out well in the long run. It's the short run that sometimes can get rocky.)
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“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

This revelation just knocked me over.

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT 

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

#somebody fuckin censored this post like a weirdo so i had to go back a bit to find an uncensored version????? #what a fuckin weirdo????????#worth it #lotr #jrrt

WHO THE FUCK CENSORED MY GLORIOUS FUCKING RANT ON TOLKIEN

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE’S A VERSION FLOATING AROUND WITHOUT ALL MY SWEARS

UNBELIEVABLE

THIS IS THE WORK OF MORGOTH I TELL YOU 

@elenothar @greenekangaroo @urloth
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